When do you know you did good as a mother? When do you have an irrefutable proof that you succeeded at being the mother you wanted to be ?
For me , it was the day I saw my youngest son, Taddeo's first tattoo. It says...MY name !!!!
My relationship with my mother have left me with some serious tattoos but under my skin, on my soul. I have worked all my life at removing them one by one so for me the permanence of things like tattoo is not comfortable. It is not the image on a skin , it is it permanence. So as a mother , i did not encourage Taddeo to have writings or images on his skin, so early in life. What a responsibility to choose what you are going to wear for the rest of your existence!
A year or so later Taddeo asked me to design his second tattoo, the one that will be placed right above the name Alexandra. The artist in me got exited about the challenge and the mother in me felt obligated to do my best . Him and I created this beautiful tattoo and we are both happy!
But I am even happier because it is a sign of a deep healing that has occurred in the family: a son chooses to "wear" you for ever and trust you with your artistic taste and ability. This is the moment I can warmly and humbly say : "I did good!" . Thank you for the message !
But for you to truly understand what I feel you must know that my mother ( bless her soul ) was everything I wanted to run away from. I always say I am a cultural refugee from France but the truth is that I am a runaway child. So Papa! Maman! You did good in your own way and I did good my way.
No grudges , just love!
P.S.: For my oldest twins sons Byron and Perry . I wanted to make my point the most concise way but it is not the only proof I have received about having succeeded as a mother : I observe you and I know. I know I did good, so please do not feel pressured to tattoo my name . Yes you are officially , publicly off the hook .